Bathrooms and WAF question

Recently (well not) noticed that a friend of mine wife will not let him use her designated bathroom.
 
Over checking a bit she leaves certain things in place such that she knows if her husband uses the bathroom. 
 
Well too he is only allowed use of his designated bathroom in the home.
 
A few years back helping a widow of a automation peer noticed that their master bathroom was very segregated to a him and her section.  It was large.  Even the UPB lighting switches were divided up to him and her use.
 
Is this a common thing?
 
 
 
 

SWMBO. LOL. I can understand having a few shelves in the bathroom that she keeps her stuff on or separate sinks if there are two or even separate bathrooms if both are ok with that but not being ALLOWED to use a bathroom altogether wouldn't fly at my house. And the thing about leaving things a certain way so she can tell if he was there is WAY over the top. I am wondering if he is allowed in when something breaks that needs to be fixed or replace a burned out bulb...

Common thing?  No, I wouldn't think so.  But then folks are into all sorts of nonsense, so who's to say there aren't folks that have convinced themselves that's how they want to do things.  The saying goes "there's a lid for every pot".  Could be they're actually compatible with doing things that way. 
 
Otherwise it'd be a red flag for abusive and controlling behavior.  It's one thing to develop habits of using one bathroom versus another.  Not "allowing" a spouse to use common facilities borders on abuse.  Setting up checks regarding it does not reflect the usual kind of trust you'd expect between spouses.  That this was shared with someone else makes me wonder just what other abuses are happening that aren't being shared...

I think that would be hard to fix, after a really long time. Is it worth the effort? To some, yes.

My parents (80, 86) have a similar setup, but they each like their space.

pete_c said:

Recently (well not) noticed that a friend of mine wife will not let him use her designated bathroom.
 
Over checking a bit she leaves certain things in place such that she knows if her husband uses the bathroom. 
 
Well too he is only allowed use of his designated bathroom in the home.
 
A few years back helping a widow of a automation peer noticed that their master bathroom was very segregated to a him and her section.  It was large.  Even the UPB lighting switches were divided up to him and her use.
 
Is this a common thing?

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I wouldn't guess it's common, but it's hard to know how uncommon it is.  I recently met a couple of retired academics (anthropologists no less) who live in completely separate apartments: hers directly on top of his.  Yet, they appear to be happily married.

Yup; friend is retired and has been married now for > 30 years.  I am thinking it's always been like that for him.  He would always tell me and I always ignored it except for the last time seeing his face turn white.