Humility...

[AnthonyZ]

For me, as well as others, 2009 was a blood bath. It was a year filled with uncertainty, insecurity, doubt and fear. In my case, the worst of it was personal as my marriage disintegrated even faster than our savings (reconciliation is the goal, we’ll see). As the New Year broke, I found myself a man without a country. I have left my home (which we’ll likely lose due to financial issues), children and pride behind. I am struggling to continue being a stable presence in my kid’s lives. Complicating matters, I lost my driver’s license (to points, lead foot is an understatement) and, thus, am riding the “loser cruiserâ€.

From a career perspective, I have not done well. The issues between my wife and I required me to be home and prevented me from focusing on work. As such, I have been an impediment to the growth of my employer’s business. I had switched hats from dealer to vendor midyear and, quite frankly, performed poorly in both roles. It’s a drag to admit but, it’s true.

So, why write this? Here? I have invested a great deal of time into personal reflection over the last month and I’m coming to grips with some of my “stuffâ€.
First, I’ve realized that my pride, selfishness and ego require real change and adjustment. I can no longer pursue work for the sake of engagement in the industry that I love. Rather, I owe it to my family to pursue work for the sake of work. I can no longer continue “playing†a professional and be one. Whether or not I am able to stay within the A/V and automation industry remains to be seen.

Second, I believe that I am in this place in order to focus on my character rather than my happiness.

Lastly, I am actively seeking a job. This has meant that I need to be really honest with myself and concede that, while I’m adept at encouragement and "cheer leading", I’m not a terribly good sales person. A large part of this is recognizing that I have been incapable of separating my passion, pride and, yes, personal opinions, from my work. With that said, I’m unsure as to where I’ll end up (in this economy, I may well end up anywhere) but I welcome insight, advice, prayers and/or job leads from the community.

Anthony

 

[pete_c]

Anthony,

Keep your chin up. Times will get better.

Pete

 

[Neurorad]

Real sorry to hear about your marriage troubles, Anthony, but it doesn't sound like it's not recoverable. Can't really give you any pointers, other than to bite your lip when your wife pushes your buttons (they perfect that, don't they).

My dad always told me it's 1 in a 1000 people who likes his job, and to get used to the fact that it's for money. You've been lucky enough to do something enjoyable the past several years.

I say do menial labor until things pick up, for the next year, then find another installer job - you've invested a lot of time and money into acquiring knowledge that few others possess - it's an asset that you shouldn't reject. But, you're now free to pursue any career you decide on. You get what you settle for.

Hope you get some leads soon, you DO have some very solid experience.

 

[123]

Sorry for your troubles, Anthony. I wish I had a pat solution for you but I don't. My wife reminds me to "count my blessings" and I'll be the first to admit that folksy advice sounds awfully naive when things go really bad. Nevertheless, you need to take stock of all the good things you have and use them to your advantage.

I wish you success in whatever path you choose.

 

[Lagerhead]

You are in a far better place now. Experience shows that understanding your issues and feeling your values will show you entirely new opportunities. So long as you approach change without fear, you will prevail.

 

[AnthonyZ]

Thanks, Cocoon'ers...I have posted my resume here, in case anyone hears of anything that I may be a good fit for. While I would prefer to stay in the Denver metro area (thus, close to my children), moving is not out of the question.

 

[felixrosbergen]

Hi Anthony,

Just wanted to chime in and show my support. I have 2010 will be better for you. Although my 2009 wasn't as eventfull as yours i think we all had a good bit of fear this past year. 2 or 3 times they laid off people in my company and no longer how long you've been somewhere if they cut enough your name moves towards the end of the list at some point. When they start throwing out co-workers with similar experience and capability to your own you find yourself instantly nervous and dramatically cutting back on spending.

I can totally see how fear can have a country in it's grips and it's a very hard thing to change. Personally I am still undecided whether i think we're starting to move up from the recession or if we're just taking a breather before we go very deep. My feelings are that this recession is not good, but there have been much worse before.

Sometimes i feel like i should be spending some to help 'kickstart' the process of recovery, but I prefer to sit on whatever little savings i have at the moment in case things go down further.

Although I don't want to turn this into a political thing i had hopes that the Government would get reinvigorated with the election of Obama, but that seems to have been short lived and the Donkeys and Elephants seem to be at it worse than ever. I seriously think this country needs more parties such they the parties are forced to form coalition governments like many countries in Europe. Although coalition governments have infighting as well they make it less easy to completely undo what your counterpart spent all his time and taxpayer money on creating.

ok..my rant is nearing it's end....i mainly wanted to let you know I wish you the best and you're certainly in good and plentiful company when it comes to fear and uncertainty.

 

[Ranger Digital]

Anthony, so how are you? Things working out better? I hope so.