You are a much nicer guy than me. I know the guy is your friend and all, but I would rip into him if he cost me several hundred dollars and didn't fix my problem correctly. You should expect a person to do their job correctly and accept nothing less. If he can't do his job correctly, he has no business doing it.
I don't think your unit is overcharged, but it could have been. I think you most likely had a leak and the guy was an idiot for adding 6 lbs of refrigerant without first looking for the leak. As for meggering, unless you personally verified the megger was calibrated and read the instructions yourself, I would not trust an HVAC guy to use it correctly (especially one stupid enough to put in 6lbs of refrigerant without looking for a leak first). Further, before meggering anything, I would contact the manufacturer of the motor and study their procedures/expected values etc... Usually meggering measurements are most useful when trended over time...
There is no reason why the leak can't be fixed as the system will work fine, but obviously, the choice is yours. It shouldn't be more than $1000 to have the system running fine again if you find someone competent. I still stand by my statement that 70% of all techs can't be relied on or trusted. I know all techs can't be engineers, but they should at least be able to follow manufacturer instructions, do basic troubleshooting etc...
If you do put a new unit in, be sure to read a refrigeration book and the manufacturer's installation instructions. Make sure the folks installing the thing follow the instructions to the letter on evacuating the system to less than 500 microns, charging the system properly, etc... You must be proactive when working with any tech in the HVAC industry.
I'm not sure if you realize this or not, but it really doesn't matter what efficiency you have installed if it's not charged properly. Based on the techs you've had out, I would not expect to save any money on my electricity bill. For example, if the superheat (fixed orfice) or subcooling measurement (for txv) is off 7 degrees or more, you will see very little to no cost savings from a more efficient unit. If your techs use the +/- 10% psig gauges, think about how much off the superheat and subcooling measurements are. Unless the tech has very good digital gauges (such as the Testo 550 series) to measure pressures, subcooling and superheat, your unit will likely be gassed incorrectly as techs are too lazy to use a calculator, measure temperature of the suction and discharge line, etc... Energy star did a study and found very few systems were charged correctly (I think only 25% of 13,000 units were properly charged).
As for number 8, it's hard to tell what the issue is. It could be that you have a fixed orifice system and the installer did not install the correct orifice/piston in the a-coil. There is no way to know if this is true without taking accurate measurements of the installed system. This would be a stupid mistake as the instructions clearly say not to do this. If you have the leak fixed, have them check that the piston/orifice is the correct size. It sounds like the distributor you talked to is full of it unless they came out to your house with test equipment.