The description of what you have now is not clear to me. You mentioned them (the utility company) running conduit somewhere...
"ran it up from a conduit (from the pole) and shoved it into a sealed part of the house"
Often the phone cable is protected by a PVC conduit if it is underground or on older installs I have seen a metal U channel put over the cable. Usually the protection doesn't extend very deep. Am I guessing that your services are underground. In my area (and I think this is pretty standard for the past 10 - 20 years) there is a "demark" box on the outside of the house. All the person has to do is open that and pull the handy plug provided inside.

Older installs are anyone's guess. I had a house built about 1970 that had the telephone come up and through the rim joist into the basement with no outside box - connection block in basement. Unfinished basement so I drilled a hole about a foot below ground level and buried everything outside.
The other suggestions are good. It is difficult to harden a phone or cable line much but if you make it a bit more difficult they may move on.