I can't really speak to any of the other options, but I have a Micasaverde Vera 3 (and before that a Vera 2) and I'm really very happy with it. I've had a Vera for two years now and have it interfaced to a DSC security system, some Squeezebox players, a Denon A/V receiver, and a few X10 sensors. Z-wave control is rock solid, for everything else it helps if you are willing to get your hands dirty a little bit and mess with the code, although the community has really been making great strides with new plugins and support.
Overall lighting control should work great with most modern HA systems. Adding more complicated things like security and A/V control either means paying someone big bucks to set it up or a big more work for DIY. For me that is part of the fun, but maybe not for everyone.
I now have maybe 30 z-wave devices, mostly light dimmers and switches, a thermostat, door lock, and some various appliance and lamp modules. I've don't have any problems with z-wave reliability, and I have the cheaper modules. Most of my lights use the GE dimmers which are at Lowes for $35 or so. I understand that they aren't quite as nice as the Leviton Vizia, but honestly I'm really happy with them. I can change the ramp rate and toggle the LED to be on with or opposite the load for the dimmer, and that all works really well.
I use and Android so I have a half dozen control programs to choose from, but I think the programs for Windows Mobile and iPhone are supposed to be pretty good too.